My name is Spree and I’m a Minor Threat.
At around the time we here at OCR took a break from updating this blog, baseball was starting, the Stanley Cup Playoffs were beginning to take shape, and the Lakers were imploding. We made the executive decision to focus our attention on fantasy sports and rooting for teams that had no chance to win it all, watching them make early exits.
But now we’re back and ready to continue our discussion of instant coffee in the workplace. First up: Barista’s Blend with French Vanilla.
They’re starting to replace all the Flavia packets with these new Alterra packets. In our office, the Alterra invasion started with the Morning Roast, followed by House Blend, this new Barista’s Blend, and I just recently noticed the new packets for Hazelnut – although I’m willing to make a Flavia Bet with myself that the Alterra Hazelnut instant coffee tastes just as bas as the Flavia Hazelnut instant coffee. Either way, I lose.
When you think of the flavor “Barista’s Blend,” what immediately comes to mind? That’s right – Starbucks. You know what immediately comes to mind whenever I hear the word Starbucks? That one chick on Real World: San Francisco who wanted to get a job as a Starbucks barista and answered all these interview questions about how to make various coffee drinks and I’m sitting there thinking “What the hell is a macchiato?”
Well, if Barista’s Blend is designed to make you think you’re drinking a cup of coffee from Starbucks, I’m here to tell you that the truth is far removed from your imagination. If, however, you heard the words “Barista’s Blend” and immediately think of a hot cup of asphalt and cigarette butts, then this drink is for you.
I can’t even stomach the entire cup, that’s how bad it is. And to inform you of how strong my stomach is, yesterday for lunch I ate a bunch of undercooked chicken from this local Japanese restaurant simply because I was hungry and didn’t feel like throwing it away. Nothing resulted from that chicken, except I have a gap in my memory from 2:30-4:45 p.m.
Do you know what the worst thing is about this new Barista’s Blend? The fact that these packets will probably just sit here for an eternity as no one in their right mind would drink them. Do you know what the best thing is about this new Barista’s Blend? I’ve got my Flavia bet mixture all ready to go.
Enjoy your coffee.
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