Flavia Combo: Costa Rica with Half & Half

I’ve been to Costa Rica. I’ve tasted Costa Rican coffee. Costa Rican coffee is a friend of mine. Flavia Combo: Costa Rica with Half & Half, you’re no Costa Rican coffee.

If I was a Tico and this combination of instant coffee was the only thing left on the planet, I’d rather do this instead.

The beauty of Costa Rican coffee is that it’s strong. Very strong. This Flavia coffee is weak at best. Worst of all, it simply tastes like garbage. The smell is atrocious, it looks disgusting, there’s a brutal aftertaste, and the coffee saps your will to enjoy liquid beverages.

Now, I’m not sure if it’s because I lost the “Mini-Moo lottery,” but check out those little white homies floating around in my coffee.

Unfortunately/fortunately, that’s not dandruff. That’s American no-refrigeration ingenuity at its finest. Either I didn’t shake the creamer well enough or I simply picked an old creamer that has seen better days. In any case, it was a lose-lose situation.

If House Blend with Half & Half gets the Dos Equis Interesting Man logo, then it’s time to unveil the exact opposite. I now pronounce the Chris Farley "Logo of Rage," courtesy of this timeless skit from Saturday Night Live.

Enjoy your coffee.