Check out that sweet picture. For all you Flavia veterans, you’ll notice our office is still rockin’ Sumatra coffee with the old packets. (See the Hazelnut post below for a picture of the “new” packets – which came out a few years ago.) I’m not entirely sure if Flavia coffee has an expiration date and part of me really doesn’t care. I guess the equivalent is like finding some Halloween candy in your desk . . . from Halloween 2007.
The thing about this Sumatra coffee is that it’s a black hole. Any type of cream you put into the coffee will magically disappear without a trace. Ever make a mistake and put nonfat milk into your coffee and the coffee just sucks it up and color remains the same? That’s exactly what it’s like when adding French Vanilla creamer to Sumatra.
It’s nice when a coffee company informs its consumers of the “strength” of a particular type of coffee. It’s also nice when a coffee company indicates the “force” of a particular coffee, although I’m not really sure how one could possibly judge coffee by “force.” It’s absolutely mind-blowing that Flavia combines the two and informs its consumers of the “Strength/Force” of Sumatra. I’m pretty sure we’re just talking about coffee and not Jean-Claude Van Damme.
I’ve never been to Indonesia, but I’m positive their coffee tastes nothing like Flavia’s Sumatra coffee. Although I’ve never been to India, I’m fairly positive the Indian food I ate for lunch yesterday at least resembles the food they serve in parts of India. I’m 100% certain Indonesians don’t like their coffee to taste like the remains of an ash tray in Paris mixed with hot water, because that’s exactly what the Sumatra with French Vanilla tastes like.
This brings me to my final point. Drinking this Sumatra blend does not excite me to have thoughts about traveling to Indonesia to flavor the local coffee. In fact, drinking this Sumatra blend makes me want to dump the entire contents of my cup into my garbage bin that is lined with a thin plastic bag. Since I have no clue whether there’s a hole in the bottom of that garbage bag, I’m consequently risking the possibility that the cleaning guy will remove the plastic bag during the regular course of business and drip coffee all over my office carpet.
Therefore, this Sumatra blend is so bad that it has actually forced me to drink the rest of it since (1) I’m physically incapacitated to walk over to the office kitchen and dump this coffee into the sink and (2) I don’t want to face the possibility of walking into my office tomorrow morning and seeing coffee stains all over my office floor.
In other words, I’m pretty sure the Flavia scientists are high-fiving themselves right now.
Touché, Flavia.
Recommendation: If you want to face the physical dilemma of begrudgingly finishing your ash-tasting coffee or walking however-many steps you have to walk to dump this coffee into your office kitchen’s sink, then Sumatra with French Vanilla is for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment